Create Your Own Harry Potter Fic!
by The Social Leper
Summary: Sick of one way plot lines? Now here's your chance to pick a direction. Can be as funny or as sick as you like!
1. Harry & Hermione

**Authors Note:** Right, so this was originally (and still is) a chapter in my other fic, 'Harry Potter And The Sarcastic Author,' but after many compliments I decided to post it as a new fic!  Basically, pick a word out of those in bold and make your own story!  Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I am not JK Rowling, Hp does not belong to me and sadly I am making no money from this…sniff.

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Hermione's Diary 

13th Oct 

Dear Diary….

Oh how I love **Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree**!  Today, I uncharacteristically bunked of Potions and went and **met/groped/gave a pumpkin pastry to** them by the **pond/3rd floor lavatory**, gosh it was fun.  But the problem is now I have mixed feeling about them and don't know how to act when they're around!  Help!

 14th Oct 

Dearest Diary….

I just had the strangest dream!

**Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry** transfigured into Lord Voldemort!  This is odd because they lack **much/any** magical talent!  What does it mean?

15th Oct

My closest, bestest diary friend….

Oh my, you'll never guess what Harry just told me!  He realised that **Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry **has been **brainwashed/eaten **by Lord Voldemort!  I must go to the library to **research/act smart/eat a pumpkin pastry/kill the librarian **immediately!

Also, my feelings for **Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree **are getting worse!  Today they **hugged Ginny/picked their nose/hit a first year **and my heart lept!  Please diary, tell me what to do!

16th Oct

Oh dearest diary…

I have just realised I am obsessed with **Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry!!!  **This goes beyond my admiration for **Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/**

**Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree!  **

I went to the library and found that Harry's right about Voldemort!  My question is** Why?/When?/Where?/How does he eat without a face?/Do ants have cable?**  Shall have to discuss this tomorrow with Harry.

17th Oct

Diary, fairest of them all….

While in **lunch/the common room/the Whomping willow tree/A pumpkin pastry **talking to Harry, I saw** Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree **with **Pansy/Dumbledore/Snape/Cho **and I'm so jealous.  The **angst/lunch** is rising inside of me.  I'm on my way up to the owlery to **write home/kill myself/convert to Islam**….. I may be some time.

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Harry's Diary 

****

Dear diary….

It has been 3 days since **Sirius died/Cho kissed me/My name got mentioned in assembly/I ate a pumpkin pastry **and the sadness is unbearable. Why did I do what I did?  Why?

Hermione has been acting oddly, the other day she bunked out of Potions.  I have a odd feeling she is **eating pumpkin pastries/worshipping the grapefruit god/kissing Ron/romping behind the Whomping Willow tree/being possessed by Voldemort** and I don't know what to do!  Ron isn't helping the matter by being obsessed by **Quiddich/Scabbers/Neville. **Help!

Diary…

I feel like I'm being **watched/possessed/subconsciously trodden on/eaten **and it's scaring me.  **Cho/Dumbledore/Hermione/Neville **always seems to be around…. I think they want to **kiss me/give me a medal/eat **me and I don't know what to do!  

Sometimes being **a boy hero/15/a geek/subconsciously trodden on **is painful and I just want to **die/kiss Cho/eat a pumpkin pastry/become heir of Gryffindor/find out what heir of Gryffindor is!**

Harry.

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Ok that's it!  What do you think?  Good reviews will earn a place on my thanks list!

Thanks.

The Social Leper :op


	2. Ron & Malfoy

**AN: **Oh yes, there is more!  Squee.

**Disclaimer: **Bah humbug

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Ron's Diary

Diary…

Oh my undying love for **Quiddich/Hermione/Harry/Trewlany/Pumpkin pastrys **grows stronger day by day!  Oh how I want to **play/kiss/eat **them….

Harry has just told me about the impending danger of **Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry **being **brainwashed/eaten **by Lord Voldemort!  Hermione has gone to the **library/toilet **to do some research, but I fear she is meeting **Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree! **Help!

Diary….

Oh my…. **Cho/Ginny/Malfoy/Hagrid/a pumpkin pastry **just **kissed/ate **me….but what do I do about my undying love for **Quiddich/Hermione/Harry/Trewlany???**

Also, today when I went to **potions/the toilet/the Whomping Willow tree **I saw **them/Snape in women's clothing/Lord Voldemort/Harry being subconsciously trodden on **and I didn't know how to act!  Harry keeps muttering about **Cho/Dumbledore/Hermione/Neville** stalking him!  Don't know what that is about!?

Diary…..

Just saw **Harry/McGonagall/Snape **go into a cupboard with **Hermione/Cho/Hagrid/Dumbledore/a grapefruit/a pumpkin pastry **but I don't think they know that I **saw them/followed them in/went to the toilet**!  Who should I tell?

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Malfoy's Diary

Diary….

Oh I must confess; I love **Pansy/Hermione/Snape/Crabbe/Goyle/Lord Voldemort/My little toe**…all I want to do is **hug/kiss/put nail varnish on **them…yet separating them from their friends seems impossible without **cornering them/worshipping them/putting on a toe separator! **

Also, have joined **the young death eaters club/incest united/the hair gel lovers group/my butt to a chair** and spent most of this morning in the **owlery/toilet** because I **had to send a letter/ate some dodgy Shepard's pie last night/kissed Snape….**

Diary….

Something very funny just happened… **Crabbe/Harry/Hagrid/a pumpkin pastry** was just **kissed/subconsciously trodden on/eaten **by **Hermione/Pansy/Umbridge/Ron's pet rat!  **I laughed so hard my **head/spoon/nose/little toe **nearly **bent/exploded/sprayed snot on Goyle!**  I love **being in Slytherin/me/going to the toilet/incest. **It's SO much fun!

Diary…

Urg, just had **Care of Magical Creatures/a bogie explosion/a brainwave/a gone-off pumpkin pastry!  **I suddenly realise my hatred for **Harry/Hagrid/noses/muggles/pumpkin/transvestites**, though I still adore **Pansy/Hermione/Snape/Crabbe/Goyle/Lord Voldemort/My little toe **and love **the dark side/snakes/hair gel/playing with my 'wand'.**

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That's about all for today I'm afraid!  If the reviews are good I'll do Ginny's…any other requests/things you want to appear???

**Thanks to:**

 Killer-the-cat

VietNaMaEnglish

Kittiekatz

I love you all!

More soon!

TSL


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